drown
by fiftyways
Summary: Hermione nurses a broken heart at a wedding.


**Pairings: one-sided Harmione, Huna**

**A/N: Lol, this was supposed to be a blog post, but look what happened. I wanted to write another Bleach fic but my attempts weren't going all too well. :(**

**Rating: T. A little swearing. **

**Disclaimer: Queen Jo owns Parry Otter. I own a pair of Converse.**

* * *

Jealousy is a flame that engulfs you in its fiery embrace. You choke, you splutter as it twists its way down your throat. It rages in your belly, burning you, setting your heart on fire. You love it and hate it at the same time, reveling yet disgusting you. You are torn between the two, you do not know what to feel.

Guilt.

It snakes around in your mind. You shouldn't be feeling this way. He's your friend, your best friend. You've stuck with him through everything, since that time he'd shoved his wand up the troll's nose, until now.

Now. Today, Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, your everything, is getting married to your best friend.

Luna Lovegood- no- she's going to be Luna Potter now- walks up to you and hugs you like she'll never see you again. You fight the urge push her away, but you don't, because you are Hermione Granger. She releases you, and when she pulls back tears are streaming down her beautiful face. You can't help but think that she knows.

Your anger dissipates a little; she is your best friend and today she is beautiful in her lily-white gown. You paste a smile on your face, you're trying to feel happy for her.

You _are_ happy for her. You're just not happy about her choice of her husband. Can't you feel a little selfish today? You've given so much, yet you received nothing...

A part of you is horrified at yourself for feeling these things but another side of you tells you it's alright; people aren't perfect, you're not perfect.

You're not perfect.

_Maybe that's why he didn't pick me, maybe that's why that's why that's why_

That thought crushes you. You choke, you splutter, you drown in despair. Your chest feels tight, you can feel a headache building at the back of your head. You just want to go home and curl up in on yourself on the bed with a mug of tea as your companion as you cry your heart out.

You understand how Angelina feels now. You understand how a broken heart feels now.

_Angelina said when Fred died it felt like half of her was too, buried six feet down along with him._

Yeah, that's what it feels like. Twenty years of friendship and an unspoken love equals to stupidity. You're stupid, Hermione Granger, you tell yourself. So fucking stupid.

_I'm a fucking mess._

You tried so hard, so damn hard, trying to please everybody, trying to make others happy, putting your heart into every single damn thing you do.

But it's not good enough. It'll never be good enough.

A warm hand taps your shoulder and you turn around. It's Harry, and he smiles at you, his emerald eyes shining. He's all grown up now, so painfully beautiful today. You feel a tear rolling down your cheek, and you wipe it away hurriedly.

_He's happy,_ you think. _So just leave him alone, Hermione. He's happy._

I'm happy when he's happy, you tell yourself, pushing out all thoughts of negativity.

_But what about me?_ A voice yells distantly in her head.

You swallow a lump in your throat.

"Ron would've been proud of you, Harry," you tell him, trying to keep your voice from wavering.

He smiles a wide smile, his green eyes crinkling behind his glasses. "Really? I remember Ron not really liking Luna, you know."

You smile a little, remembering how Ron avoided Loony Lovegood like crazy during their school days.

Harry pulls you into a hug- he's so tall now- and a whisper ruffles the little hairs on your neck.

"I love you, 'Mione."

He releases you and ruffles your frizzy bob that you had hacked at with a pair of safety scissors in Myrtle's toilet, after the war, after Ron's death.

"Later," he adds as he starts to make his way towards Luna, who was talking to a flushing Ginny.

You're still standing, holding a hand to your head, watching his retreating back. He doesn't mean it in the way you want him to, but for now, it is enough.

* * *

**Err, review, yes? :) **


End file.
